What is the “Culture” of Therapy?
Therapy as a Foreign Practice
Therapy can be a new and unfamiliar practice for many of us for a variety of reasons, including a few listed below:
•Therapy is stigmatized in our society/culture/family
•Therapy is seen as less effective than other healing practices
•Talking about emotions is seen as “weak” and suppressing emotions is seen as “strong”
•Having emotions is seen as a “female” trait and therefore inferior, having no emotions is seen as a “male” trait and therefore superior
•Having emotions is seen as shameful
•Emotions are deemed irrelevant or even an obstacle to finding solutions to problems
•There were no role models to show how to emote, express and regulate feelings
If you can identify with any of the situations listed above, you are not alone. I work with clients every day who have these experiences.
My Own Story
As a therapist who comes from Middle Eastern (Iranian) and South Asian (Indian) heritage, I did not grow up with the culture of therapy. In my family and cultures, I grew up with the idea that talking about feelings was shameful, weak, and uniquely a trait specific to women—which made it an inferior trait within the patriarchal infrastructure in which I was raised. Anyone (especially women) who sought counseling was deemed “insane,” “crazy,” and “mentally ill,” and there was a lot of fear that those who went to therapy would divulge all of the family secrets and bring shame to the family.
I didn’t become a therapist by design, because I never thought it could be an option for me due to the stigma of mental health in my cultures. Being a therapist was not seen as a reputable, respected profession. It just so happens that my life path brought me to this profession in an unexpected way.
The Culture of Therapy
Much of my work as a therapist is orienting and teaching people about the culture of therapy, as practiced in the United States. Please be mindful that there is not “one way” to practice therapy, and there are many different specializations and training paths a therapist can take. That being said, there are a few universal tenants I have found to be helpful to my clients that I would like to share with you.
Therapy is a confidential space—meaning that what you share cannot be shared with others unless it falls under an emergency situation. This is a big deal considering many don’t have anyone they can share anything with without feeling that they may incur negative consequences such as retaliation, abandonment, or threats.
Therapy allows you to be the leader in your own life, starting with being the lead in your own healing journey. Therapists walk alongside clients in healing, we do not dictate where to go or how fast to walk on your path. Many people are refreshingly surprised to hear that they can make their own choices about what to focus on when starting therapy, especially if they came from a society/culture where free will choice is not valued.
Therapy is a judgement free zone. This is in direct opposition to shame-based cultures where judgment and shaming (like judgment on steroids) is utilized to control people’s beliefs and actions to fall in line with a societal norm.
Therapy is an evidenced based practice proven to improve mental health conditions. It is very common for people to rely on medications as their primary intervention when treating mental illness, thinking that therapy won’t really help. Research has shown that therapy can be just as effective as medication, and in fact a combination of medication and therapy together can yield the greatest benefit for certain conditions.
And my favorite…Therapy assumes you can change if you want to, and offers a body of knowledge and steps to help you live the life you envision for yourself. This is my personal definition of freedom and empowerment—the ability to change and grow as a person and craft the life I want.
If you would like to learn more about what to expect in therapy, feel free to reach out for a free 15 minute consultation. I look forward to connecting with you!